Fantastic motel, terrible resort
My wife and I stayed here for a planned ski trip at Hood Meadows. The lodge was fairly nice, but then we got to our room. It was fairly reminiscent of a motel room, albeit a nice motel room. The shower had other people's hairs in it. I'd like to give the cleaning staff the benefit of the doubt. I've certainly cleaned my shower many times where stubborn hairs refuse to be wiped up by a rag. Eventually I give up after the hairs have been sufficiently doused in cleaning chemicals knowing that I'll just wash them away with water at my next shower. Still, it's not something I want to see right after checking in.
The heater is a wall mounted heater position right above a floor vent suggesting that central air once existed, or more optimistically is "coming soon". I don't have a problem with wall mounted heaters per se, but this one was obnoxiously loud. Not only was it loud it was also highly varied in the types of sounds it would produce meaning it definitely did not fall into the category of white noise. We were left with the option of losing sleep to a heater that was trying to wake the or losing sleep to a silent, but very cold room.
After a day of playing outside, sometimes my wife and I like to curl up to watch a movie before bed. I picked up the two identical remotes taking turns pointing them at the television and the Comcast cable box attempting to get something to happen. After a couple of minutes, I manually turned on the television finding that one of the remotes did change channels and adjust volume. The purpose of the remote's twin is still a mystery to me. What was much more surprising was that the television was a standard definition television. I thought these relics had gone the way of laser discs, Zunes, and HD DVDs. If you are too young to know what a laser disc, Zune, or HD DVD is, then allow me to elaborate on what a standard definition television is. Imagine trying to watch Netflix with slightly better resolution than Minecraft.
We also decided we'd try the restaurant in the lodge. The waitress did that neat trick where she didn't write anything down taking our order. My wife ordered the fish and chips, and I ordered the Resort Burger. It came with chees (no, I did not forget the third e), lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, and Resort sauce. The waitress asked me, "What kind of cheese would you like?" As the silence that followed the question lingered, I considered responding with a fancy cheese that is only made in the south of France. Instead of being snarky, I asked, "What are my options?" She replied, "Swiss, cheddar, and I think provolone." The "I think" thrown in there did make me concerned about her ability to remember our order without writing it down, but I soldiered on none the less. "I'll go with provolone, please." I looked at the extras I could add listed on the menu, "Could I also get the jalapenos too?" She replied, "Certainly!" At this point she walked away without asking how I wanted the burger cooked. I suppose it is my responsibility to indicate how I want it cooked in my order, but hey, I'm okay with taking the chef's choice path! When our meals eventually came my concerns about memory were validated. My burger had cheddar cheese and no jalapenos. It also oddly had no onion or pickle. It was a tasty burger, though, and my wife said her fish and chips were good too!
Typically at restaurants, there is the standard, "Let me get these out of your way," before menus are picked up after ordering. This did happen, but not until the check was brought to our table. While it was a minor nuisance at best to negotiate the space of a small table with plates and menus, I would expect the service that comes with a price tag of $41 for fish and chips and a burger to be, well...service. Fortunately, there was a mini-fridge and microwave in the room, so we could go buy food and disposable dishes to avoid the over-priced restaurant again.
If this were a motel with motel prices, it would easily be a 5 star motel. The problem is that this is not motel. It is supposed to be a resort as indicated by the name, "Mt. Hood Oregon Resort," and the many references to "resort" in their restaurant menu. While I don't necessarily believe that naming something a resort makes it one, I do believe that being charged like a resort would result in the experience of a resort. The only reason I gave it 2 stars is because I hope to avoid coming off as a raving lunatic as many 1 star reviewers do. I want to be informative for prospective guests considering staying at this "resort" as part of their Mt. Hood travel plans.